Round 5 stuff

Friday night footy has some extra spark this week. Mick Malthouse over takes Jock McHale as the longest serving coach in VFL/AFL history. While the efforts of Malthouse are remarkable, consider this, McHale’s coaching career lasted longer than the average life expectancy of the time. Whether you think Mick is a cranky old bastard, or agree with that statement it doesn’t matter, his effort deserves due recognition. The rumours surrounding him at the moment suggests there may be an announcement on his future in the wind. I hope it’s an announcement made by Eddie McGuire. Some sort of succession plan where Malthouse takes over from Buckley to rebuild the ‘Pies. That’d be fun.

On the field the Blues would be living it up on the back of a win, against St.Kilda, in New Zealand, while the ‘Pies come into the clash with some real form after beating the Bombers on Anzac Day. The old Collingwood 6 footers played well, Seedsman,Swan,Adams,Crisp,Pendles all did their jobs. I can’t see the Carlton form stacking up against Collingwood, or really anyone for that matter. While there’ll be plenty of pomp and ceremony there will only be one real highlight for the night, when Stevo gets to ask Mick “It’s been a long journey, hasn’t it, Mick?” in the 5th quarter presser. Mick will have an extra special look ready for Stevo. I expect the Blues to lift for Mick, but not for long enough to hold out the improving ‘Pies. Bucks has the ‘Pies on the go, whoops, (allegedly) on the go, Collingwood by 42 points.


Saturday at the G and two sides desperate for a win take each other on. The ever disappointing Richmond ( chuckles ) and the rapidly fading Catters. The Catters simply rely on too few to do too much while the Tigers can’t rely on anyone to do anything. Hardwick said it was “bloody horrible”, he needs to learn how to swear properly, there’s plenty of better words to use than “bloody” to describe that. The heat will be on both clubs with a loss here, 2-3 would see Richmond behind where they’d want to be and 1-4 would mean they’re too far behind the pack for the Cats to catch a spot in the 8. Nobody likes writing season on the line stuff in Round 5, unless it’s Geelong and you’re a Port fan. So, season on the line for Geelong on Saturday and I think they know it and I think they’ll win it. One thing they can still do, at least Selwood can still do, is win contested ball, Richmond don’t even bother getting those statistics from Champion Data anymore. Geelong, just, 11 points.


Sydney get back to the harbour city to host the Bulldogs who ran all over a pitiful Crows outfit on Sunday afternoon under the roof while the Swans were delayed arriving into Perth, getting there just in time to play the second half against Fremantle. This will be another stern test for the young Doggies line up. They failed against Hawthorn in Tassie and pumped a side (Adelaide) who are around them on the ladder, this is another look at how far behind the top 4 sides they are. The Swans rarely, if ever, lose two in a row, but a tough one in Perth, the trip home and expected heavy conditions again in Sydney might push the Swans to their physical limits against the fleet of foot Footscray. Say that with an Anzac biscuit in your mouth. The Dogs struggle to hold key big forwards, Sydney have about 9 of them on a $1m a year each. Yeah, I don’t know how either. It’s because Bondi is an expensive place to live and they all have to live there, apparently. Swannies by 33 points.


South East Queensland is being hit by another “East Coast Low”, it’s not a weather system this time, it’s the Brisbane v Gold Coast match up that’s putting a dark cloud over that corner of the country. Neither of the sunny state sides have had a win in 2015, by default one of them will get off the mark this weekend. Brisbane bleed from the back, I should reword that. Brisbane struggle in defence, they’ve got no big men to mark up key forwards from the opposition and battle to score at the other end. Doesn’t read well for them, does it? Meanwhile the Suns are high on most people’s list as the most disappointing side early in 2015. Many thought they were finals bound, their CEO said premiership bound, now they seem to be rebuilding bound. This one is a tipsters nightmare, luckily I’m no tipster so there’s no waking up in cold sweats for me. I can’t see Brisbane kicking anywhere near enough goals to beat the Suns. With or without Ablett the Suns will break their 2015 duck this weekend. Goldy lads by 21 points.


North battled it out over Geelong last week, beating a side they should have beaten. The Scott brothers enjoyed the day together, they played a trick on everyone and swapped their shirts at half time, nobody knew, nobody really cared, not ever their Mum. Hawthorn were simply blitzed by Port in Adelaide where some plonker from Hackham took it upon himself to make all Adelaide folk look like fools. If you’ve been to Hackham you’ll know it’s only a small cross section of Adelaide and we aren’t all like that. A bit like Dandenong. I guess he also learnt that Clarkson has a short fuse, something the rest of the football world has known for decades. Hawthorn have lost 2 of their last three, they’ve lost Brian Lake for several weeks, Paulo Puopolo pinged a quad and their smarts at both ends will be missed. This shapes as another tight tussle. It’s hard to back against the Hawks, especially after their second half form against Port. That form reads better than beating Geelong, Hawks by 19 points.


West Coast smashed the Lions up in Brisbane, which isn’t very difficult, while the Giants made a mess of the Suns in Canberra last weekend, which wasn’t really a surprise. The Eagles host the Giants in Perth this weekend and I like this match up. A win for the Eagles and they’ll think season alive and well at 3-2 while the Giants could be 4-1 and solid in the top half of the ladder, probably a year or two ahead of schedule for them. The GWS lads will also be thrilled at the opportunity to head to Perth as a group. They love the colouring books and pencils the cabin crew give them in flight, they never get a chance to finish them on the short trip to Melbourne though. I can see the Giants taking it right up to the Weagles here, while the Weagles have a top shelf forward line they are a little thin in the midfield, right where GWS seem to have most sides covered. I’m going the outsider here, I’m thinking the Giants can head West and take the points. The Giants by 19 points.


Melbourne made the most of their Friday night “block buster” against Richmond, smashing the Tigers in close and holding them at bay when the rain came, while the Purple Army gave it to Sydney early before once again stopping in their tracks after half time. Much of that to do with Sydney’s pressure, some to do with the Dockers being 10 goals in front. Melbourne have improved this year, without question while Fremantle remain the only undefeated side. The Dees have showed some real ticker over the last two weeks, their long, long, long, long, long suffering fans would be happy with the progress they have seen in season 2015,but, I can’t see the Dees beating the Dockers, I can see them making them earn it though. With KFC proudly sponsoring the inaugural “Colin Sylvia Bucket” where the two sides Sylvia has been contracted to fight it out for a 22 piece bucket. Somewhere either above or below the daily calorie intake of Sylvia. You would think Fremantle remain undefeated, but they’ll have to really earn this one. Fremantle by 24 points.


St Kilda and Essendon are both capable of producing downright ugly stuff. St Kilda with their “football” and Essendon with Joe Daniher and his “moustache”. I use the “ “ in both instances as neither of them really represent the words I’ve used to describe them. St Kilda went across the ditch hopeful of adding some Kiwi members to their books, they plan to get 10,000 Kiwis on board as member....*thud*.....sorry, just picking myself up off the ground. My sides were under duress while I was trying to stay upright. Any who, the Saints lost to Carlton, not a great form line. The Bombers dropped one to the ‘Pies, not overly surprising given they have been in and out of matches in the first 3 weeks. Essendon couldn’t get into the match early against the ‘Pies, other than Dustin Fletchers goals from the centre square ( which took us back to his young days, you know, around 1973 ) the Bomber faithful didn’t have much to cheer about. They’ll have plenty to cheer about this week. Essendon by lots. 54 points.


The last match of the round might just be the match of the round. Adelaide set chins wagging with their form in the first 3 weeks, taking the top of the table spot after three weeks and three solid wins, then it all fell apart under the roof against the Dogs. Adelaide were simply uncompetitive, other than Thompson and Jacobs the playing group would have been very disappointed with their efforts. Phil Walsh said if they lost contested ball they’d walk off the end of a jetty. Unfortunately they just waded out waist deep at Henley Beach. Apologies to all those innocent victims who fell into Gulf St Vincent after the end of all of Adelaide’s metro jetty’s collapsed under them. That booby trap wasn’t meant for you. Seems I wasted my time. Port hosted Hawthorn and some pundits have described the first 30 minutes as some of the most exciting, irresistible, exhilarating, titillating, breathtaking football they have seen for years. Ok, some of those words were mine. It was though, outstanding. Every forward thrust resulted in a goal, at $13 for the first goal kicker I was pretty happy it was the Chad! Port have built some momentum over the last two weeks while Adelaide need to show something by bouncing back from the loss to the Dogs. The 19th man will be in full voice this week, every likely hood you’ll be able to hear them from all the way outside the ground at various stages. I think Port are in better nick having been through a tough month of finals like footy. Port by 22 points.


Take that for what it’s worth. Last week got you 6 winners.

Pies
Tigers (I don't know why)
Swans
Suns
Hawks
Eagles
Dockers
Bombers
Power

Look forward to your write-ups each week, Booney, great stuff, very enjoyable.

Magpies
Tigers
Lions
Swans
Eagles
Bombers
Dockers
Power
Hawks

Collingwood (Carlton a chance though)
Richmond (Hardwick to be sacked if they lose)
Sydney
Gold Coast
Hawthorn (no certainty though)
West Coast (definitely no certainty)
Fremantle (funny feeling this could be an upset though)
Essendon
Port Adelaide

Collingwood won by 75 points.

Collingwood were superb, Carlton were ratchet.

Watching Richmond vs Geelong on Fox at the moment. I notice 7 aren't showing it until 2.30. You'd hope they won't use their slogan 'live and free' during that match.

Geelong beat Richmond by 9 points. Richmond kicked the last 4.
Western Bulldogs defeated Sydney by 4 points in an epic final quarter.

Gold Coast thrashed Brisbane.

Hawthorn easily defeated North Melbourne and West Coast slaughtered GWS

Fremantle defeated Melbourne by 68 points. Probably unfair score in the end, was around the 20-30 mark quite a bit but Freo dominated the final quarter

Essendon beat St Kilda by 2 points, Schneider missed 2 shots in the dying stages for the Saints, so not even the power of Hulkamania with the Hulks pep talk could get the Saints over the line

Port beat Adelaide by 24 points. Weird game. Adelaide 68 inside 50s to 43.