Laughter is the best medicine

A thread about funny people
About funny screen shows

BOB HOPE + PHYLLIS DILLER
Been some funny people that have graced the screens
Bob Hope is a funny man , and needs no introduction
Phyllis Diller is known as the first lady of laughter, who mimicked her not so pretty looks
They were on a TV show in the mid 60s and this is how it went

HOPE  : Dr Diller
DILLER: Yes you must be in the wrong place, Im not a plastic surgeon
HOPE: Look I didnt come here to be insulted, I can get that at home , are you sure you are a marriage counsellor ?
DILLER: Off course, dont I have a sympathetic face ?
HOPE: Well your face has my sympathy

I love watching Bob Hope on the screens , either a very funny man, or had brilliant script writers


Laughter is the best medicine
Bob lived to be 100
Phyllis lived to be 95

I went to the dentist this morning, I only had $1
What happened ?
Had to get buck teeth

By 
Bob Hope 
Ed Sullivan Show

Bob Hope had a cast of writers....however he knew how to deliver the lines perfectly.........saw that clip of Ed Sullivan last night & i was going to use that joke as well

It needed someone like Bob Hope to execute that line
Bob Hope is a very funny man

Those Ed Sullivan re-run shows are great viewing

surprisingly Bob Hope was born in England

This from the movie Daltry Calhoun
Australian actor Kick Gurry conversing with Johnny Knoxville

KG: Speaking of whacking whats going on with you and Flora?
JK: What ?
KG : You know she dosent wear reggies , you know Reg Grundies , undies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WB-T0Ill08

TAXI

A scene with Danny Devito and his ex girlfriend
The girl starts the conversation
" Your looking good."
" I got a mirror that tells me that."

Im not sure how many actors could have said that without a laugh
Danny Devito is one of them

Taxi was corny comedy at its best !
Also starring in this American comedy was :
Christopher Lloyd [Doc in Back To The Future movies]
Tony Danza[Whos The Boss]

MONKEES
Song : Gonna Buy Me A Dog

Lyrics that sounded like Davy Jones and another band member

DJ :I just got back from Africa, you know, I was playing cards with the natives
OTHER: Oh, Zulus ?
DJ: No, I usually won, ah ah ah

GRAHAM KENNEDY
This was once said on TV during the Graham Kennedy Show
It was a long time ago, heres how I remember it

Graham and his partner were at a restaurant
The waiter was scratching his bottom
" Excuse me, but have you got piles?"
" No sir, only whats on the menu."

LOU RICHARDS I MEAN GEORGE BURNS AND GRACIE ALLEN

Gracie Allen started off the conversation

They laughed all at all intelligent women, they even laughed at Joan Of Arc , but she went right ahead and built it
Built what ?
The Arc
The Ark was built by a man
The person who built the arc was a woman
Noah
How could I noah, shes been dead for years

1958 Golden Globe Awards
Jayne Mansfield did a presentation to Mickey Rooney
She put her arms around him , which meant Mickey was eyeing Jaynes magnificent breasts
Mickey says
" Who err , who wants to be tall."

RON HOWARD
Speech on receiving an Oscar

" Before my mother passed away 18 months ago she predicted this was going to happen for me on this film."
APPLAUSE
" She also made that prediction on every movie that Ive directed since 1983."

" After our first performance , I thought this is going to be good
But I didnt realise how good he was going to be until we had been together for quite a few weeks
He was so quick and a brilliant writer."

By 
Reg Varney
About when Benny Hill became his sidekick in comedy acts

Reg Varney is one of the great comedy actors
Starring in On the Buses one of the funniest TV shows from England

'i'll get you Butler''

From the Movie All Fall Down [1962]
Conversation between father and son
The father is Karl Malden
The son is Warren Beatty


KM: Have you seen Herbie lately ?
WB :Herbie who ?
KM : Her behind.

" There is this one meeting , when Jack Warner and I got into it and I cant remember the subject of the argument but he said well look lets just put it this way , you do know whose name is on the water tower ? and I said well yes its my initials , and we went over to the window and the guy couldnt help but laugh

By
Warren Beatty
in discussion with Jack Warner of Warner Brothers [WB]

From the movie Hard To Get [1938]
Dick Powell wants to open up an auto court
He has an appointment with Charles Winninger[Mr Richards] to impress upon him

CW : What are you selling  [in an intolerable tone]
DP : You see Mr Richards more and more Americans are becoming travel time[is interrupted]
CW: Well that might be all right young man but I want to tell you  this is not one of the main highways.
DP : But this is a practicable money making scheme sir
CW: Money making, huh, at the present time Im trying to figure out a practicable deal with the government, to let them keep my income and I'll keep the tax

Looking forward to seeing this on Thursday night 8/10
HOGES
This is a 2 hour episode featuring Paul Hogans comedy

QUESTION ?
I reckon Paul Hogan is perhaps the funniest screened Australian of all time
Who might be considered better ?

Garry mcdonald cant go past norman gunston

Tuesday 27/9/1983
Australia 2 won the Americas Cup
Bob Hawke being interviewed on C9
: I tellya what, any boss who sacks a worker today for not turning up is a bum."

Thats possibly the funniest line Ive heard from a PM of Australia

Scrappy wrote:Tuesday 27/9/1983
Australia 2 won the Americas Cup
Bob Hawke being interviewed on C9
: I tellya what, any boss who sacks a worker today for not turning up is a bum."

Thats possibly the funniest line Ive heard from a PM of Australia

great line but what about the line from Sir Robert Menzies ? remembering back in those days there was little if any live media & politicians used to speak in halls to get their message across, anyway as the story goes a woman was criticising him & she said ''if you were my husband i'd give you poison to drink'' he replied ''madam if you were my wife i'd gladly drink it''

" I only like 2 types of men, domestic and foreign."

By
The queen of quotes
Mae West

PS
Classic comeback by Mr Menzies

" Im going to Iowa to collect an award
Then Im appearing at Carnegie Hall, its sold out
Then Im sailing to France to pick up an honour from the French Government
I'd give it all up for one erection."

By
Groucho Marx

this bloke ''James Eoin Stephen Paul McKeown'' turns 50 today (24/1/2016), i'm tipping he might be the comedian going into the ''i'm a celebrity get me out of here'' reality tv show, given the clues they've given out...........................Nope, i won't be watching it  


happy 50th birthday

Jimeoin